PATH TO EMOTIONAL FITNESS PART 1: Understanding the True Meaning of Fitness
When you think of someone who’s very “fit,” images of strong and lean athletes, like those from the Olympics, likely come to mind.
These athletes, with their finely tuned bodies, are capable of taking on challenging physical tasks thanks to their rigorous practice, conditioning, and commitment to overall physical well-being.
This understanding is useful when considering emotional fitness. Like physical fitness, achieving emotional fitness requires commitment, habitual practice, and a healthy lifestyle. However, focusing solely on these attributes overlooks another crucial dimension of fitness.
In biology and evolution, fitness has a different meaning. The Oxford English Dictionary defines the biological definition of fitness as:
“The quality of fulfilling the requirements of a particular environment for survival and reproduction; the capacity of an individual to survive and reproduce.”
This definition of fitness emphasizes adaptability—being able to survive and thrive in the various contexts of one’s environment.
Consider James Bond as an example. He exhibits peak physical fitness, but his true fitness extends beyond his physique. Bond's ability to adapt, remain calm, and handle diverse challenges - from escaping enemies to navigating complex social situations - showcases his comprehensive fitness - his adaptability to his environment.
Understanding fitness in this broader sense allows us to reframe what we mean when referring to emotional fitness. It’s not just about maintaining emotional well-being through habitual practice; it’s also about developing the adaptability to handle life’s challenges and thrive in different situations, no matter what the world throws at us. Being able to deal with reality effectively, through both the good or bad, is the ultimate expression of fitness.
While we may not often face physical challenges that demand the fitness level of Olympic athletes or even James Bond, our emotional lives present different demands. Life is inherently challenging, and the stresses of daily existence, coupled with the inevitable major hurdles of personal and societal challenges, require us to be as emotionally fit as possible.
Unfortunately, many of us fall short of this ideal. Not only are people often deeply out of their depth emotionally when dealing with significant life hurdles—such as loss, illness, or conflict—but an alarmingly high number struggle with commonplace, objectively unthreatening areas of daily life.
For example, a recent study found that 67% of adults experience "menu anxiety," described as the anxiety felt when faced with a menu in a restaurant and needing to order aloud. This anxiety affects their ability to function in restaurants: 34% of young adults reported feeling so anxious that they would ask others at the table to order on their behalf, and almost 40% of Gen Z adults said they would skip dinner plans if they couldn’t check the menu first.
Other people suffer from “vacation anxiety,” with one study finding that 69% of Gen Z travelers have canceled or changed their travel plans due to anxiety and a lack of preparedness!
Clearly, these levels of emotional fitness are suboptimal, and unfortunately, many people’s ability to adapt to life’s inherent or unexpected circumstances often falls short. As a result, a significant number of people experience considerable emotional distress due to their inability to cope with the realities of their environment, leading to a widespread epidemic of suffering. To address this, it’s crucial to understand what is needed to be well-adapted to our environment.
To be well-adapted, especially from an emotional perspective, we must be:
Competent: Have the practical skills and knowledge to effectively manage the challenges we encounter.
Engaged: Always paying attention to and actively dealing with the reality of our situation and the world around us.
Constructive: Proactively seeking out positive solutions to any situation we encounter.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these qualities to better understand their importance for optimal emotional adaptability and, consequently, emotional fitness.
The Pay-Off: Serenity & True Contentment
Building competence, engagement, and a constructive attitude in life offers profound benefits - not just for a high level of emotional fitness - but also for the personal rewards of living with serenity and true contentment.
When someone embodies these qualities, they can navigate any situation with a sense of calm and composure. When faced with challenges, a person who is competent, engaged, and constructive does not fall to pieces, lose control, or shut down. Instead, they maintain their serenity, allowing them to respond with reason and clarity of mind. This clear-headedness helps them to:
Stay Collected: They remain composed, even in the face of adversity, enabling them to think clearly and make sound decisions.
Avoid Negative Spirals: By not succumbing to panic or distress, they prevent a downward spiral of negativity that can exacerbate the situation.
This ability to stay serene and collected means they can approach problems with a solution-focused mindset, enhancing their ability to overcome obstacles and emerge stronger. And beyond handling challenges, these qualities enable a person to achieve a state of peaceful homeostasis—a comfortable state of simply being. This state of equilibrium is not about constant happiness, but rather about a deeper, more important goal: contentment.
Contentment Over Happiness: Contentment is a sustainable state of satisfaction and peace with oneself and the world. Unlike happiness, which is often fleeting and dependent on external circumstances, contentment is enduring and comes from within.
Self-Acceptance: This state requires being comfortable with oneself as they are, feeling a sense of belonging in the world. It means accepting one’s flaws and strengths alike, and not feeling the need to constantly seek approval or validation from others.
Living Without Distractions: True contentment allows a person to be comfortable without relying on distractions, affirmations, or coping mechanisms. They can find peace and satisfaction in the present moment, without needing to escape or numb their feelings.
As much as we might wish otherwise, we cannot change what has happened to us so far. Our past experiences, both good and bad, have shaped who we are today, with all our beauty and flaws. Each new moment, however, presents an opportunity to enhance our fitness for the world around us, bringing the rewards of serenity and contentment. Whether you’re dealing with past traumas, everyday annoyances, or major life stressors, remember that the power to change your experience lies within you. By building competence, choosing engagement, and embracing constructive positivity, you can transform your life and cultivate a deep and holistic level of emotional fitness, preparing you to fully embrace all the exciting possibilities life has to offer.
